The Settler State

THE OTHER day, the almighty General Security Service (Shabak, formerly Shin Bet) needed a new boss. It is a hugely important job, because no minister ever dares to contradict the advice of the Shabak chief in cabinet meetings. There was an obvious candidate, known only as J. But at the last moment, the settlers’ lobby was mobilized. As director of the “Jewish department” J. had put some Jewish terrorists in prison. So his candidature was rejected and Yoram Cohen, a kippah-wearing darling of the settlers was appointed instead.

Categorized as: english news

The Aljazeera Scandal

I ALWAYS thought this a specifically Israeli trait: whenever a scandal of national proportions breaks out, we ignore the crucial issues and focus our attention on some secondary detail. This spares us having to face the real problems and making painful decisions.

Categorized as: english news

Interim Forever!

I HAVE three answers,” the Jew told the rabbi when his neighbor sued him for not returning a borrowed jar. “First, I never borrowed a jar from him. Second, the jar was broken. Third, I returned it to him long ago.” Avigdor Lieberman’s Peace Plan shows a similar kind of logic.

Categorized as: english news

A General Overhaul

THE JUDGE: “You are accused of murdering your wife and two children. How do you plead: Guilty or not guilty?” The accused: “Your honor, I do not deal with the past. I think about the future!”

Categorized as: english news

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